We spend so much of life trying to be other people’s idea of who we should be. We bend ourselves into shapes that fit expectation, comparison, judgment. Yet the deeper truth is that freedom comes not from meeting those demands, but from finally stepping fully into the shape of ourselves.

This is the praise we rarely give: not to success, not to appearances, but to the quiet, unrepeatable miracle of being who we already are.

The Discovery of Difference

A decade ago, I stumbled into an unexpected revelation: I have aphantasia. I cannot visualize with my mind’s eye. When guided meditations invited me to imagine glowing orbs of energy or brilliant colors, I felt peace, yes, but I saw only blackness.

At first, I thought I was missing out. My friends described seeing visions, colors, journeys on psychedelics, yet all I ever found was the back of my eyelids. Oddly, my dreams were different: vivid, cinematic, sweeping adventures. And my brother Olivier stood on the opposite pole, with hyperphantasia, a visual imagination so strong he could overlay it onto reality itself.

Note this is not to say that I cannot imagine, but more that my imagination and memories are more conceptual and emotional. They consist of thoughts, feelings, and sensations rather than images.

This contrast made me wonder: could I “unlock” visualization? Would it make me more creative, more capable, more complete? Perhaps it would help me recognize faces better. It’s a tad embarrassing not to be able to recognize friends if they merely change hair style or the way they dress.

Turning Weakness into Strength

I tried for years. Visualization exercises, psychedelics, endless attempts, but nothing worked. Slowly, though, something else revealed itself: my so-called limitation turned out to be a strength.

Because I cannot conjure imagined pictures, my mind does not wander. I live anchored in the present moment. I can switch contexts instantly, moving from one topic to the next without distraction. My memory is astonishing. I retain nearly everything I read or experience, as though the lack of internal pictures sharpened every other faculty.

In a world overflowing with distraction, this is no handicap. It is a superpower.

And so, I stopped yearning for a different mind. I embraced the one I was given.

Be Careful: You May Not Be Who You Think You Are

You may tell yourself, “I cannot paint.” But that’s not quite true. That’s just a story you tell yourself. You simply haven’t decided to allocate the time to learn. With effort, you can become competent at almost anything.

But competence is not calling. What matters is discovering what your heart of hearts desires—and pursuing that with abandon. Each of us is born with different predispositions, strengths, weaknesses. We are trained to “fix” what is missing, but life is better spent doubling down on what is already ours.

The Freedom of Being Yourself

Suffering comes from living a life scripted by others: parents, peers, bosses, culture, and by the stories we tell ourselves about who we should be. We play roles, wear masks, and grip tightly to identities, as though clinging to them will keep us safe. But instead, they suffocate us.

The liberating truth is this: most people aren’t paying that much attention to you. They’re too absorbed in their own struggles. The moment you stop bending yourself into shapes for their approval, you reclaim an astonishing freedom. When you see that no one really cares, you’re released from the tyranny of performing.

Likewise, pain, whether from criticism, rejection, or failure, is only unbearable when you believe it defines you. If you stop identifying so fiercely with the “hurt self,” you discover a deeper self that cannot be touched. The world may still throw chaos your way, but you no longer hand it the keys to your inner peace.

Caring less does not mean apathy. It means loosening the anxious grip, stepping back into the cosmic comedy, and realizing life is play, not punishment. When you drop the heavy seriousness, you find yourself laughing more, creating more, living more.

Authenticity = Freedom

The invitation is simple but profound: be yourself, not the self society expects, not the self you have been rehearsing, not the self you think you “should” be, but the raw, unrepeatable, honest self that emerges when you stop pretending.

Authenticity is not about becoming perfect. It is about dropping the mask. When you do, you discover a strange paradox: the less you care about being accepted, the more life accepts you.

So, stop performing. Step out of the spotlight. Laugh at the absurdity. Dance with existence.

Because when you stop caring about who you are supposed to be, you finally discover the freedom of who you already are.